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Apologies if you get this twice - minor challenge with mail system being sorted out.

I was recently interviewed for an article in a magazine on Trust. I was asked to reply if I trusted some very well known people. Well known because of media coverage rather than really well known by close association. I was surprised how quickly I decided on whether I trusted people from snippets of information rather than direct contact.

Trust is a very short cut when dealing with people. If you trust someone, you make quick judgements about what they say and ascribe positive motives to what they do. On the other hand, you reverse the process if trust is lacking. “Don’t you trust me?” is meant to get a quick positive response even if you have only just met the person. Just imagine how much easier your dealing with others would be if people trusted you at first contact.

So...what can you do to get people to trust you more?

Forgive the obvious...but people will trust you if you are trustworthy. There is no technique. There are no tricks that work. Most people will intuitively know who can and who cannot be trusted. It seems that lying effectively is very difficult to do and one needs to be a psychopath to lie without betraying yourself.

My advice on how to become more trustworthy is as follows...

1. Tell the truth as you know it and differentiate between what you know in fact and what is your opinion without a factual basis.
2. Do what you say you are going to do. If you promise to call someone back or send some information...just do it.
3. Assume that others are telling you the truth whilst they are speaking. If you have doubts, investigate how what they are saying seems true to them. People often rationalise until the doubt disappears in their mind. They may really believe that what they are saying is true after several tellings.

If you trust people they are more likely to trust you. If you trust yourself then people will almost certainly trust you. Deceive yourself and you smell unreliable. If you want to build trust, you may need to demonstrate that you are trustworthy by eliminating the discrepancies between what you say and what you do. Have you ever wondered when listening to someone espousing strong values how they will behave when asked to live according to these values? Talk is cheap. I’d like my financial advisor to be wealthy, my dentist to have good teeth, my doctor to be healthy and my tennis coach to be able to beat me every time.

Try asking some people around you ‘Do you trust me?” Watch out for a quick positive answer. Pursue the question into ‘What would I need to do for you to trust me more?”

Just imagine how much more effective you would be if people trusted you from the first contact.

Regards

Paddy Spruce CSP
Email – paddy@paddyspruce.com.au
Web: www.paddyspruce.com.au