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Don’t you get suspicious when someone says ‘you can trust me’?

It’s not for them to decide. I am the one who decides on who and when to trust. The Latin word for trust is ‘fides’ and the verb is ‘habeo fidem’ or I have faith . This means that I will suspend judgement in your case and won’t be as demanding for evidence of what you tell me.

I remember dealing with a sales person who used a premature closing technique. Something like ‘how will you be paying for that’ before I had decided on the purchase. I felt pressured. I also remember another sales person using a similar technique on the same day and not feeling pressured. I trusted the second person and didn’t mind the early close.

So trust is something that we need to build with clients, work colleagues, managers, friends and partners. With trust, there is much less need for persuading and influencing. You can say ‘leave it to me’. I recently concluded a leasing arrangement through a broker and his patience with my questions helped me to trust him. I am happy to tell other people that he can be trusted.

The question is how do you need to behave to have people trust you more? Obviously, you need to be honest as your face and body language will betray you if you aren’t. There are also several behaviours that will build trust. A recent British survey discovered that the single most important quality for leaders is ‘an obvious concern for the welfare of your people’. What is the behaviour that is seen to be evidence that a person is concerned? It is the underlying behaviour that causes us to trust others. Words are cheap.

Here are some behaviours that will build trust:

• Admit and apologise for your mistakes
• Gracefully accept feedback
• Give honest feedback
• Keep your promises, even little ones
• Be open with information
• Say what you mean
• Listen carefully without interrupting
• Tell the truth as you know it

We seem to be losing our trust in organizations and professions because of the poor behaviour of a minority. My father trusted one oil company because their petrol was better. It wasn’t really better. He would have been shocked to see the petrol tankers all picking up petrol from the same refinery. He trusted the company because some individuals from that company had gained his trust through their honest behaviour.

So here’s the challenge. Practise one of the eight behaviours each week. Admit your mistakes for one week. Be truthful for one week. Keep your promises for one week. If you told someone you would call them back – call them back. You will know when people trust you more. You life will be easier. You won’t have to persuade with the same vigour. People will ask for you by name because you can be trusted. Remember the disappointment of being let down by someone you trusted? Make sure you are never the cause for this ‘acid in the stomach’ feeling. Build a reputation for being completely trustworthy and reliable. If trust is the glue of relationships and it is becoming less apparent in our business dealings...then imagine your success if you are seen as someone who can be trusted!

While I have your attention....remember that I have a exciting public program coming up on 18th February at Barton “The Art of Influence - How To Get What You Want From Others Every Time”.

And if you want to become more successful in your business and personal relationships, listen to my CD on ‘How to make an excellent first impression’.

Keep working on your trust.

Paddy Spruce CSP